The Forgotten Survivors

This picture is made to cause a person to wince, cringe, and want to turn away. I ask that you don’t turn away. However, a warning for some this blog may be disturbing, please listen to yourself as to whether or not you are at a place to read it. This is my first blog as just Shannon Jaccard and not the CEO of NAMI San Diego, though that will always be a part of my life. Throughout the years of being a mental health advocate there was always one group of people that were constantly forgotten; siblings. Over the last couple of months, I’ve been interviewing siblings about their journeys. From two perspectives. One is the viewpoint of the person who has mental illness in regard to their experience with their siblings. The other is from a brother or sister who grew up with the sibling who experienced mental illness. Our stories need to be shared.

Back to the picture. I’m a sister of a brother who was diagnosed with a mental illness. Whether it be called schizophrenia like the doctors said, or anxiety like he felt and experienced, it doesn’t actually matter. What matters is the symptoms that bothered him, the isolation he experienced, and the picture.

My brother ended up in several locked psychiatric hospitalizations throughout the course of his life. Some good, some traumatic. I was a constant visitor and became fairly familiar with many of the staff. My brother and I would hang out, sometimes play cards, sometimes chat, sometimes just sit together. At the end of our allotted one hour visitation, he would always try to hide me in a corner so that I would stay until the very last minute before the staff would kick me out. Unfortunately, many hospitals still have a one hour visitation rule. Why there is a difference between the needs of psychiatric patients with having loved ones visit and cardiac patients, I will never understand. The good news is that many hospitals are starting to open up those hours. Upon my arrival, the staff would share with me how he was doing that day. A few too many times they would say, ‘he had a rough day’. I always assumed these ‘rough’ days evolved around his mental health, ie being sad, anxious, etc. Never did it cross my mind that these ‘rough’ days mean that they tied him to a bed, literally.

It wasn’t until one day, where his ‘rough’ day would turn into his last day, did I learn about the use of mechanical restraints. Every psychiatric hospital has a restraint room, in fact it is a federal mandate. I’m not here today to debate the use of restraints, though I do believe they are over used and the trauma that the usage of restraints cause is the individual to never want to come back to a hospital even when they need it. We need hospitals to be seen as a tool not cruel so that when needed it feels like a safe place to turn to in a dark moment in time. For my brother, he will not get the option. After wanting to go on a cigarette break two minutes before the allotted time, he became agitated. The staff gave him multiple medications placed him faced down on a bed and tied him up in a five point prone restraint and left the room. Within minutes, my 25-year old brother had a heart attack and died alone in a grey room tied to bed. I don’t know why my brother never told me that these ‘rough’ days consisted of the use of restraints. I will live with feeling like a missed something, that I could have fought harder.

Today I do a lot of work with hospitals because I do believe we need them but they need to be a place of healing, a place where people want to go to voluntarily not just by force which is often the case. But today, I also feel very passionate about giving siblings a voice which we have been long denied.

More to come and I’m open to thoughts, concerns, and your sibling voice as well.


For more information on myths and facts of restraints go to: or Disability Rights, who talk about the frequency of restraints being used as a power struggle between provider and patient.

By | 2019-04-17T17:43:47+00:00 September 28th, 2017|Blog|8 Comments


  1. Sybil L Chacko September 29, 2017 at 6:08 pm - Reply

    Wow. This is definitely a great article opening up a real issue that goes on every day and yet it is never talked about. Thank you for being open and vulnerable to share this with others. I’m cretain this is a great platform to begin the discussion. I admire your conviction and drive to work with hospitals to make a real change in the system.

  2. Jodi September 30, 2017 at 1:54 am - Reply

    You are helping empower so many through your work and experience. You honor your brother with that. Thank you for all you do and share:)

  3. Casey October 1, 2017 at 9:32 pm - Reply

    Thank you for this Shannon. I can’t wait to tune in.

  4. Sue Skube October 2, 2017 at 5:03 pm - Reply

    Thank you for sharing this powerful story Shannon.

  5. Sharon Ross October 2, 2017 at 9:53 pm - Reply

    Thank you, Shannon, for the work you continue to do. My daughter’s in her 5th week of hospitalization this time. We are fortunate she has great insurance, but I’m greatly saddened at how many have been sent home at risk because their insurance won’t pay. We have work to do!

  6. James Beaubeaux October 5, 2017 at 2:54 pm - Reply

    Shannon, thank you for sharing this story. I read it out loud to my wife and had to stop several times as I could not see the words because of the tears in my eyes. As the CFO/treasurer for Mental Health America San Diego for several years, these stories were heard many times, but you put a face, your face, in vivid color into the story. I will continue to follow your blog!

  7. Laura Fanto October 22, 2017 at 8:09 pm - Reply

    Great article Shannon. You are continuing to make a difference. Thank you for sharing this.

  8. Carolyn October 22, 2017 at 9:58 pm - Reply

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I can tell your love for your brother is immense. Thank you for writing.

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